Damaged Feathers
by swan-regal
Summary: Emma's past is haunting and the stress of being the saviour is starting to get to her. She does her best to hide it and only one person notices. Only one person is capable of understanding. But is Regina too late to save Emma from her inner demons? What will she do when she finds the blonde bleeding to death from her wrists? Will this push Regina over the line...quite literally?
1. Chapter 1

pHey guys! This is my first attempt at writing fanfiction. I'm warning you now that there are some quite mature themes in my story, such as suicide and self /

I'm not sure if I will continue writing this so let me know if you actually want me to. Your opinions and feedback are very much appreciated. Thanks and happy reading!br /

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"We will kill you! We will get our revenge on you once and for all!"br /

Regina was pinned against the door of her mansion with a large group of angry citizens before her, yelling while flinging tomatoes and eggs towards the lone woman. Regina had lost the energy to fight back so she just stood on her porch as the people of Storybrooke grew louder and more violent by the /

Leroy had taken over the riot and was right in Regina's face, yelling at her and pushing her against the door. Just as Leroy's hands clasped around Regina's small neck, a familiar voice stopped him in his /

"Get your hands away from Mayor Mills, Leroy, or so help me I will personally see to it that you are thrown over the town line. Got it?"br /

Regina let out a long breath that she hadn't realised she was holding, at the sound of the sheriff's voice cutting through the yells. Relief washed over her and her muscles relaxed a /

Emma slowly pushed her way through the crowd and made it up to the porch where Leroy had released Regina but was still glaring at her with /

Emma grabbed his shoulder and yanked it back while yelling, "Hey! I'm talking to you! You will back off before I escort you to the town line, Leroy, and if you think for one second that I am messing around then you are sorely mistaken!"br /

Leroy's glare transferred to Emma but the look he got in return proved that her intentions were true. He backed down the stairs joining the mob who had now hushed. Emma continued her speech, "And that goes for all of you. I'm putting a new law into place. If I find any of you attempting to hurt Regina again I will banish you across the town line. Am I clear?!"br /

Disappointed grunts and whines filled the air but stopped immediately when Emma raised an /

The group gave up and began walking away. As Emma turned to face Regina, who hadn't moved from her position, a stray tomato crashed into the mayor's temple. Emma snapped her head around and shot an intense glare at the group who scurried off in a /

Emma turned to face Regina once more while opening a brown paper bag. She pulled out a napkin and made her way over to the brunette who was looking down at her shoes. Emma took in the sight before her. The 'Evil Queen' didn't look evil at all. All she saw was a woman with a bad past in need of a second /

The Mayor raised her head to look at Emma, who had moved closer than arms distance. "Here." Emma said, as she raised the napkin in her hand to the side of Regina's face. Regina tried to step back in protest but Emma grabbed the Mayor's shoulder with her free hand. "Just let me help /

Please?" Regina shuddered under the sheriffs touch. She opened her mouth to argue but saw no point. She sighed in defeat and let Emma wipe away the squashed /

Regina had to suppress the giggle that arose in her throat as she watched Emma's tongue slip out of her mouth and her face scrunch up in concentration. Regina examined Emma's face from her pink lips to her defined jaw line. She had never seen the sheriff so close before. But she had always known how beautiful she was. While the Mayor was lost in her thoughts of the blondes beauty, Emma had finished wiping away the tomato juice from Regina's face and had turned around and was heading to the top of the stairs. She sat down on the top step placing her paper bag on her lap while motioning for Regina to join her. The Mayor mentally scolded herself for thinking of Emma in that fashion and joined the other woman on the /

"That's the third one this week Regina." Emma snuck a look over to the brunette sitting next to her but quickly looked away as Regina started to speak, "I know. I don't know...wait. How did you know to come? I assume no one in that beastly crowd called you over and I certainly didn't." Regina looked over to Emma who had picked up her paper bag and was waving it in the air in front of Regina's nose. /p

p"It's my lunch break. I was planning on going for a nice walk out to the park so I could enjoy my toasted sandwich away from the chaos that the town has become. That was when I heard a commotion so I came to check it out." Emma sighed and put her chin in her her hands with her elbows balancing on her thighs./p

p"Thank you, Miss Swan. I am glad to have the authorities on my side right now." Emma looked at Regina and smiled a tired smile. It was only then, at that angle, that Regina noticed just how worn out the sheriff looked. The deep blue smudges under her eyes were prominent against her pale skin and the usual glint of mischief had vanished from her green eyes. "What are you looking at?" Emma started rubbing her her cheeks. "Is there something on my face? Regina! Get it off!" The brunette didn't realise she had been staring that long. "No Miss Swan. There is nothing on your face except the obvious tiredness. You look exhausted. Maybe you should have tomorrow off?" Emma raised an eyebrow and scoffed, "Ever since this curse business broke out I have had no time to rest. Everyone has gone absolutely mental. There is an angry mob constantly trying to seek you out and hurt you. But really I am fine. Why do you care what I do? Before I broke the curse you hated me. And now you're expressing concern about how much sleep I get? Careful Madame-Mayor-Evil-Queen-Regina, it almost looks like you care about me." /p

pAs tired as she was, Emma would not let up an opportunity to mock the older woman. Regina shot a disgusted look at Emma but lessened the intensity when she saw the goofy smile on the Sheriff's face. "Your death stares don't scare me, your highness," she said as she stood up in front of the older woman and jokingly bowed. Emma extended her arms towards the still seated woman, offering a helping hand. Regina resisted the underlying urge to grab onto the sheriff's hands and said, "I'm fine Miss Swan." /p

pOnce both women were standing an awkward silence broke out. "Well...Sheriff Swan you had better go back to your job and let me get back to mine." Regina had opened the door to her mansion and was about to step inside when Emma spoke, "Regina wait! I was thinking that maybe you shouldn't be staying here." The mayor turned and glared at the blonde./p

p"What? I shouldn't stay in my own house?" Emma's gaze fell to the floor, "I just...as sheriff of this town I don't think it is safe for you to be here alone. The angry mobs target you and your home. It's dangerous." /p

p"Well, Sheriff, I think your message was pretty clear today so I'm sure they won't bother me again. I am offended that you don't think I can protect myself against a few idiots. And besides, no one in town would rent me a place to stay." /p

p"Regina I mean that you could come and live with me." The Mayor's eyebrows furrowed at that comment and before she could say anything the blonde quickly corrected herself, "I mean with me and the others of course. Like Mary Margaret and David. Henry too?"/p

p"Miss Swan I think you are forgetting that your mother and father are two of the people who hate me the most. I destroyed their home and took you away from them. You would be very dim witted to believe that they would let me into their home with open arms." The harsh tone in Regina's voice visibly hurt Emma. The Mayor took a step forward with regret and said "Emma I'm sorry I didn't mean that. I just don't know that it would work."br /

Emma held back a smile. She loved it when the mayor used her first /

"Ms Mills, as sheriff of this town I order you to come and live in Mary Margaret's house. There is a spare room for you next to my room and Henry will also be there. You can see him every day in a safe environment." /p

pThe mayor raised her eyebrows as if to question Emma's authority. Emma was quick to add, "and I know that everyone else is scared of you but I'm not so get your crap together and come over at 7pm. That's that. Okay?"br /

Regina sighed in defeat, "On one condition. You must take the day off tomorrow to get some sleep. Do we have an agreement Miss Swan?" /p

p"It seems we do."br /

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Later that day/p

pRegina stood right outside Mary Margaret's door. She lifted a shaky hand up to the door handle but pulled away. This was a bad idea. She knew it was. She backed away, picking up her bags. She quickly walked back down the hall, turned the corner and smashed straight into someone./p

p"Mum!"/p

pRegina gathered herself and looked down to see Henry's excited face staring back. "Mum where are you going? I thought you were staying with us from now on!" /p

p"She is." Regina looked beyond Henry to see blonde curls bouncing about as Emma ran up the stairs. She kneeled down next to Henry and said, "Hey kid, how about you grab your Mum's bags and take them to the spare room? I'll let you have ice cream for dessert?" Henry beamed at his mother and she returned the smile. /p

pAs soon as he had left Emma's face dropped and she stared at the wall deep in thought. She sighed as she ran her ringers through her tangled hair. "What's wrong?" The brunette's words caused Emma to snap out of her daze. "Huh? Oh nothing. Long day I guess. Are you ready to do this?"/p

p"I don't think it's right Miss Swan. Your parents hate me." Emma took a few steps closer to Regina and said "And you hate me but we seem to have come to some kind of compromise. So maybe they can too?" With that Emma walked past the mayor and towards the door to Mary Margaret's flat. "I don't hate you Emma." The blonde threw a look over her shoulder, "I can't hear you Regina! Come over her! Let's get this over with."/p

pRegina made her way over to Emma, who had opened the door. The younger woman walked in first and was greeted by David, "Emma! Sweetie how are you? How was your..." His face went solemn at the sight of Regina. Mary Margaret walked into the room and her eyes widened when she saw the brunette that had entered her house. "What the hell is she doing here?! Get her out of my house right this instant!"br /

Emma rolled her eyes and looked blankly from David to Mary Margaret. /p

p"Mum, Dad, she will be staying with us for a while. Until all these riots stop she needs to be somewhere safe and I believe that is right here with us."br /

Mary Margaret opened her mouth to protest but Emma raised a hand in annoyance and continued, "I really don't care what you have to say about the matter. The fact is that she is staying here with us and that's final." Regina's eyebrows raised. She was impressed with Emma's show of authority and was also surprised to see Charmings back down. They obviously weren't happy but they weren't willing to fight Emma about it just yet./p

pAfter the initial fuss, things seemed to run smoothly. Mary Margaret and David were cooking dinner, Henry was in his room reading and Emma had shown Regina her new room. "If you need anything at all just give me a yell." Emma smiled at Regina and exited the /

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Later that night/p

pDinner went as good as expected. The silence was extremely obvious. No one spoke for the whole duration and Emma had barely touched her food when she stood and took her plate over to the sink. She noticed that Regina had finished her pasta so she walked back over to the table and collected her plate and took it to the kitchen. Regina felt extremely uncomfortable at the table without Emma present so she too stood and made her way to the kitchen. /p

pRegina noticed Emma's plate still full of food, "Miss Swan, you have barely made a dent in your dinner." With a shrug of her shoulders, Emma dumped the remains of her dinner into the bin and placed her plate in the sink. The mayor frowned at Emma who gave her a sad smile in return and walked out of the kitchen and up the stairs to her room. Regina was quick to follow her. She didn't want to be left alone with the Charmings./p

pShe silently made her way up past Emma's room and into her own. She slumped down onto the soft double bed and sighed. Closing her eyes, Regina listened. She could hear the muffled voices downstairs of Henry talking to The Charmings, the low buzz of the heater in the corner of her room and also she could hear Emma humming to herself in the room next to her. The brunette couldn't help the smile that made its way onto her red lips. It sounded so peaceful and it felt so homely that Regina felt fully relaxed for the first time in years. /p

pShe was abruptly pulled from her thoughts as a loud thud came from Emma's room, followed by a, "Shit!" Regina found herself running into the blondes room fearful that they were under attack by a mob of angry towns people. But all she found was Emma sprawled out, face down, on the hard wooden floor. Emma turned her head slightly to see the mayor in the doorway. "Sorry to startle you Regina, I just wasn't looking where I was going. I slipped." She sheepishly grinned at Regina who had made her way over to help the blonde up. "Miss Swan, would you be so kind as to stop fooling around and..." As she bent over to help the blonde up, she noticed Emma's shirt had slid up revealing her lower back. Regina froze when she saw the faded white lines all over the pale skin. /p

pEmma had managed to sit up now. Regina's voice was harsh when she said, "Emma, where did they come from?" When the blonde didn't respond Regina asked again, "Miss Swan! Where the hell did those scars come from?" Emma's face flushed hot and red. She looked up at Regina and then back down at the floor. "For God sake Emma! Where..." Regina's voiced softened when she realised that the blonde was crying. She felt a pang in her heart looking at the shivering young woman beneath her. She wanted to engulf the blonde in a warm hug but resisted the urge. Instead she sat down next to Emma and pressed her back against the bed frame. /p

p"Emma?"/p

p"You know how I was in the system as a kid? Yeah well I got passed around a lot. I was just a meal ticket that got thrown around. I was worth nothing to them. When I was 12 I was put in a home with 2 other kids. If we stepped out of line, well...the consequences were...we would get taken to the back room and Matthew, my foster father, would take the belt off his jeans and whip us. It's no big deal Regina, really. It's in the past." The brunette sat silent, her jaw dropping from what she had just been told. She had to turn her head away from the sheriff as she could feel her eyes filling with tears. She managed to hold them in and she turned back to the blonde. "Emma I..."br /

"Regina seriously. It's no big deal. It was in the past. I have moved on. I'm...I'm over it. I'm okay." And with that Emma pushed up with her legs, sliding up and sitting on the edge of her bed. She wiped her face with the sleeve of her black hoodie. Regina stood and went to say something but Emma cut her off, "Careful there Madame Mayor! There you go again! If you keep this up people might begin to actually think that you are capable of caring!" At that comment Emma lay back on her bed and smirked at Regina who had walked over to the doorway. She stopped before leaving and said, "Watch your tone, Miss Swan. After all you are speaking to the one and only Evil Queen." Regina did her best evil laugh which left the two women giggling hysterically./p

pAs Regina walked into her own room and plopped herself onto her bed. She felt a deep satisfaction at being the cause of the blonde's laughter. She smiled to herself as she closed her eyes tightly /

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She was only asleep for a few hours when she was awoken by Emma's screams,/p

p"HELP! NO! NO PLEASE NO! MATTHEW NO! SOMEONE HELP ME! PLEASE HELP ME!"/p

pPanic rose in Regina as she heard the younger woman screaming. She shot up, ran out her door and heard footsteps to her right. Henry came into view down the hallway, walking rather casually. "Oh, hey Mum!" Regina gave him a confused look, "W-what's going on Henry?!"br /

"It's Ma...her nightmares. She has them almost every night." Henry pushed past Regina, walked through the door and over to Emma, who was shaking and crying under her covers. Henry slipped into his mothers bed and hugged her tight and whispered that it was just a dream. He told her that he was there and that it will be okay. Regina's heart melted at the sight of his little prince acting so grown up while comforting the blonde. She didn't need anyone to tell her what those nightmares were about. /p

pEmma looked at Regina in time to see a look of sympathy and understanding. But as soon as she had seen it, it had disappeared again and she was left with Regina's usual masked face. /p

pThe brunette went downstairs to fetch Emma a glass of water. By the time she went back upstairs, Henry was leaving his mothers room. "She's calmed down now. It might happen again but you don't need to worry, we have a routine" He gave her a tired smile and wandered back off into his bedroom. Regina walked over to where Emma lay and handed her the glass. The blonde sat up and thanked Regina, who had kneeled on the floor besides Emma's bedside table. She noticed an unlit candle sitting next to some of the blondes other possessions. Regina waved her hand around the top of the candle a few times. All of a sudden the candle was alight with a purple flame, dancing about in the darkness. /p

p"You can still use magic?"br /

"Of course dear, I just haven't been because you know. I want to change for Henry." Emma smiled at Regina, "So what's the candle for?" The mayor took the empty glass from Emma's hands and said, "Keeps the nightmares away." She smiled and left the blonde alone to /

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The next morning/p

pEmma sensed someone in her room. She had only just woken up and she hadn't opened her eyes yet. She lay for a while listening to the shuffling of feet in her room. She peeked through squinted eyes to see who it was and saw the familiar figure of the mayor. The brunette was looking on a shelf when Emma startled her, "Regina?" Her voice was rough and groggy from sleep, but it was enough to make Regina jump. "Oh, Miss Swan. I-I was just looking for some perfume. Henry told me I could find some on this shelf but I can't seem to see any. I'm sorry for waking you." Emma opened both eyes and said, "Why do you need perfume? You aren't going out today." /p

pRegina turned with a confused expression. "You told me to take the day off work. My work basically revolves around saving your ass these days and if you are here then I won't need to." Emma shut her eyes while smirking and continued, "No one will try and hurt you here. So stay. And don't try and argue with me because..." Before she could finish her sentence she was already asleep. A small smile played on Regina's lips as she stared at the sleeping blonde whose messy hair was swept over half her face. /p

pShe went back to her own room and found herself another few hours of /

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She woke up to the sound of Mary Margaret's raised voice, "Emma! What the hell! Wake up! You are supposed to be getting ready for work!" Regina rolled her eyes and listened. Lines formed across her forehead as she tried hard to hear Emma's response. She heard the blonde groan a few times before replying, "Mum. I don't have to work today. Regina gave me the day off." Mary Margaret scoffed, "That woman does not control you! You need to be out there helping the people of Storybrooke!" This time it was Emma who scoffed in annoyance, "No. Mum those people are quite capable of taking care of themselves for one day!"br /

"Emma! You are the saviour for God sakes! You need to be out there showing everyone who you are!" /p

pRegina awaited Emma's response but there was silence. Her eyebrows furrowed as she listened harder. She moved closer to the wall so she could hear more clearly, "Mum please don't do this right now. Not while Regina is here. You know I don't like the term 'saviour'. I am not a great and heroic saviour. That's not who I am. It's who you want me to me." Her voice cracked with weakness and the older woman's heart ached when she could hear the vulnerability in the words. Mary Margaret's harsh tone angered Regina, "You are the saviour whether you like it or not, so pull yourself together and start acting like it. Get up and go to work." The mayor jumped when she heard a door slam and her gaze fell on her own door when she heard the footsteps approaching. /p

pThe door swung open and Mary Margaret's glare burned into Regina, "I want you out! When I get home from work you had better be long gone! You are not welcome here. You are evil!" The last three words were said with such malice that it made Regina cringe. The brunette in the doorway spun around and left. The space was filled moments later when a timid Henry walked in. "Mum? Don't listen to her. You aren't evil! I have to go to school now but I hope you're still here when we get back! I love you!" Regina smiled a sad smile, "I love you too Henry."br /

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Regina and Emma had remained in their bedrooms until the Charmings and Henry had left. As soon as the coast was clear Regina felt the bubble of hunger in her stomach. She made her way down to the kitchen. She looked around in every cupboard for some ingredients and began preparing pancakes. /p

pOnce she had finished eating her own, she made a few extra and placed them onto a plate with some maple syrup. She poured a glass of orange juice and carried the plate and cup up to where the blonde was still in bed. "Knock knock? You awake Miss Swan?" She earned a grunt from the sleeping woman. "I made pancakes." At this comment the blonde opened her eyes wide and grinned. "With syrup?!" Regina put the plate and glass on the bedside table. Emma looked at Regina with a confused smile, "I don't understand why people would want to hurt you. I mean, I read about you in Henry's book but I have never heard your story." She popped a chunk of pancake into her mouth and pointed to a vacant space on the end of her bed. Regina obliged and perched herself on the edge of the mattress , "Look. I lost someone that meant the world to me. Your mother took him from me. She took my happiness. So I took hers, along with everyone else's. I was evil. I am evil."/p

p The hurt in Regina's eyes as she spoke made Emma want to take all of the older woman's pain away. When a single tear fell from Regina's eye she stood up to leave. Emma reached over and grabbed the brunette's hand, "Regina. You are not that person anymore. I don't care what Mary Margaret says because I believe that you have changed. Also, you are staying here regardless of what she says. You aren't safe at back at your house. Okay?" The mayor pulled back to release her hand from Emma's but immediately regretted the decision when the absence of warmth became obvious. "Emma. Your mother..." "Regina. I don't care what she says. I want you to stay. Please."/p

pThe brunette looked over to the younger woman whose eyes looked sincere and very tired. "Eat your pancakes and get some sleep. You look like you need it." Emma opened her mouth to say something but Regina cut her off, "I will be here when you wake up." With that, the brunette left Emma's room feeling unusually contempt with the idea that someone actually wanted her to hang /

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The rest of the day was quiet. Not an awkward quiet. Just a peaceful quiet. Emma slept for most of the day, occasionally coming down for a drink or something to eat. Regina spent her day seated comfortably on a chair, in the corner of the living room, with her nose in a book. /p

pWhenever Emma entered the room she would look over at Regina and wonder exactly why the woman who had the whole town running in fear, made her feel so safe. She rounded the island bench and poured herself a glass of orange /

She put her elbows on the smooth surface and flicked through the newspaper that was on a pile of magazines. Emma loved reading the news papers. She loved reading about the big cities that she used to live in before Henry knocked on her door late that night. /p

p"Anything interesting happening on the outside?", Regina had noticed the blonde examining the paper. "Nothing out of the ordinary I guess. A few break ins, some guy won the lottery and lots of other boring..." Regina's head jerked up at the sound of glass shattering. Orange juice had splashed all over the floor and the younger woman had /

"Emma! What the hell!" Regina threw her book on the chair and ran over to the kitchen. "Emma what happened? You look like you've seen a ghost!" The blonde pointed to a page in the news paper and sunk to the floor, head in hands. Regina scooped up the paper and began to read aloud, "Matthew Hennings was killed last night in the crash that occurred on the corner of 6th and 7th street." She looked at the picture of a man with a cold glare then back down at the shaking blonde curled up on the floor and made the connection./p

p "Oh Emma", she said as she sat down, "Is he the Matthew from your nightmares? Your foster father?" Emma's sobs grew louder as she glanced at the older woman. Emma was laying down in a ball with her head next to Regina's thigh. Instinctively, the brunette placed a comforting hand on Emma's shoulder who responded by moving closer, lifting her head up and resting it in Regina's lap. She knew it was a bold move but she really didn't care right now. The mayor's shock took hold of her for only a second before she spoke, "Emma, he is gone now. He can't hurt you or anyone else ever again! I am so sorry! It's my fault. If I had never enacted that awful curse this never would have happened to you." Regina found herself running her fingers through locks of curly blonde hair in an attempt to comfort the younger woman. Emma's breaths slowed and her whimpers softened. "I know. I'm sorry I just freaked out when I saw the photo. Regina you can't think like that. If you never made the curse then, sure I wouldn't have been in foster care, but we also wouldn't have Henry. So I guess some good came out of it." /p

pTears fell from the brunette eyes, half out of the burning guilt she felt in the pit of her stomach and half out of pity for the younger woman below her. The two women remained in that position, with Emma's head resting on Regina's thigh, for a long while. Both content in just having the comfort of each other, neither of them wanting to leave the other woman's warmth, though neither would dare to actually admit it. Regina let her head rest against the cupboard door behind her and closed her eyes, leaving her arm wrapped around the blonde's shivering shoulder. Emma felt the haze of sleep come over her, but not before hearing a faint, "I'm sorry", escape past the older women's cherry /

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The women awoke with a jolt hearing the front door swing open and the Charmings walking in with Henry. Being the growing boy he was, Henry went straight around the island bench to grab some food but stopped dead when he saw the smashed glass, the orange juice everywhere and both his mums on the floor. /p

p"Ma? Mum? W-what happened?" /p

pThe two women still groggy with sleep grunted in response. The stabbing pain in Emma's neck and the lack of feeling in Regina's legs made it obvious they had been asleep for a while. "What the hell is going on here?!" Mary Margaret now stood beside Henry. "What did you do Regina! Emma are you okay?" "Mum I'm-", Mary Margaret cut her off. "I thought I told you to get out of my house, Regina! And yet you are still here! Get away from my daughter this instant!" Emma sat up next to the brunette, their shoulders touching. /p

p"And you! I expected better from you Emma! I told you to get your ass to work but David tells me that you didn't even show your face all day!" At the mention of his name, David rounded the bench. He took in the scene, the two women on the floor looking quite terrified and his wife's red blotchy cheeks and bulging eyes. He pulled on Henry's shoulder forcing him away from the situation. /p

p"Let's go for a walk kid?" /p

pBoth Emma and Regina mentally thanked David for sparing the child from having to witness any more. "Emma! Clean this mess up right now. And as for you, go and pack your things. You are not, and never were, welcome in my home. Your evil doesn't belong here." With that, Mary Margaret stormed off. Regina snuck a look at the woman beside her, who was staring at the ground through tear filled eyes. "Emma. I-"br /

"I don't hear any movement in there!" Mary Margaret's voice pierced the air with its ferocity. Emma's eyes met the brown pair that were on her. She forced a smile, "I'm okay." Regina slowly got to her feet, immediately missing the comfort of Emma's shoulder pressing against her own. She exited the kitchen, remembering to grab the paper on the way through and throwing it in the trash can as she passed. /p

pShe made it to the spare room and began to pack items into a duffel bag. She felt so guilty for leaving Emma down there alone with her mother. A million thought were dancing through Regina's head, swirling and entwining forcing the brunette to sit down due to dizziness. She took a few deep breaths and continued to pack until any sign that she had even been there was removed. She rolled her eyes at the sound of Mary Margaret's raised voice and headed for the stairs. As she entered the room she saw that David and Henry had returned but she also noticed the blonde's absence. /p

p"Mum!" Regina felt small arms wrapping around her waist. She knelt down to be level with her son, "Hi Henry! Did you have a nice walk?" "Yeah it was okay, but Mum, what happened? Why were you and Ma on the floor with a smashed glass and orange juice and why was Mary Margaret yelling and why did Ma look like she had been crying and.." "Henry! Okay your Ma simply slipped and fell while holding the glass of juice. I was making sure she had no injures and she wasn't crying. She was just a little flustered is all." Regina felt the Charmings eyes burning into the back of her skull as she lied to her son, "and as for Mary Margaret's anger, I too would love hear an explanation as to why she would be yelling like that, but I'm afraid I don't have the time nor patience to endure such stories."br /

She turned and met the glares of the couple standing over her. She stood and and placed her hands on her hips, "Now. Where is your daughter?" David scoffed, "Why the hell would you want to know! And why the hell would we tell you!" Regina's eyes skimmed over to Mary Margaret and she raised an eyebrow in question. "We don't want you anywhere near her! So I suggest-" Regina threw a hand up to stop Mary Margaret's yammering and turned to her son, giving him a hopeful half smile. /p

p"She went to work."br /

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Emma had been at the station for a good half hour. Her face was still deep shades of red and her hands were still shaking. Paperwork fell off the desk as she rested her head, using her arms as a form of pillow. Emma closed her eyes and found herself lost, deep in thought. Her memories from childhood all the way up until today flooded through her brain and filled every possible cavity of her skull until she thought she might explode. A frustrated growl formed in her throat as she slammed her fist against the hard wooden table. The pain in Emma's wrist allowed her to focus her mind. /p

pShe simultaneously rolled her eyes and frowned when she heard footsteps echoing through the hall. The footsteps stopped in the doorway behind Emma, who stayed facing the other way, "David, I'll come home soon but if you expect me to apologise to her then.." The blonde was cut off by the sound of someone clearing their throat. Then she heard the voice that makes her heart skip a beat and sends vibrations down her spine, /p

p"Miss Swan."/p

pThe way her name rolled smooth like honey off the mayor's tongue and past those red lips had Emma closing her eyes lost for words as she allowed herself to secretly enjoy the shivers that rippled through her body. The blonde pressed her sweaty palms against the hard oak table and exhaled, releasing the tension in her shoulders. "Regina?", she turned around to face the brunette and smiled, attempting to put up a hard front. "W-what are you doing? Why are you here?" The confusion on Emma's face mirrored the feelings churning inside of the older woman, for even she was wondering exactly why she had come. "I-uhh-well I-Emma you've been crying!", Regina noticed the puffiness of the younger woman's eyes and was grateful that the excuse to change the subject presented itself. /p

p"No! I'm just tired." Regina's gaze focussed on Emma's face for a moment, studying the hollowness in her eyes and the practiced smile. She walked over and sat across from the blonde, placing her hands closed together on the table top and shaking her head to flip a wisp of dark hair off her face. "Emma", she sighed, "That doesn't work on me." /p

p"What doesn't?" /p

pRegina looked up at and raised her hands, gesturing towards the woman across from her, "That." Emma raised a questioning eyebrow as Regina continued, "That thing you do. Where you hide how you really feel. You put up a wall disallowing anyone to truly know how you are feeling, and you, might I add, have near perfected it. However dear, you fail to understand that not everyone is as dim witted as your parents who have their judgement clouded with this overarching belief that everything is perfect. They have romanticised this world and they won't allow themselves to believe that something may be wrong. Thankfully, I am not as dull as they are. I can see right through your cover up, Miss Swan, and I know, for a fact, that you aren't coping." /p

pRegina tightened her fists into balls, preparing herself for whatever rage the other woman would throw upon her for speaking ill of her parents, but all that came was silence. Emma fidgeted, clenching her jaw and picking at her cuticles before she finally responded, "How can you tell?" She raised her head and green orbs met chocolate ones, "Emma, it's in your eyes. That smile that has everyone fooled doesn't work on me because I can see the hurt. You will never be able to cover up the fact that the goofy and mischievous spark that used to live in your eyes, is now gone."/p

p The blonde stared at the older woman in realisation, "Y-you only know about all that because...because you do it too!" Regina hesitated, "Look...Emma, what I'm trying to say is that I can see something is off. You've stopped eating properly, you have those nightmares, you don't sleep and you act like everything is okay while you're around Henry but as soon as he leaves the real you comes out. The exhausted and hurt you comes out, and I know you think you're protecting him by hiding it but in the long run it will only end up hurting you and him and your family and..." Regina's voiced trailed off as she so badly wanted to add herself to the list but thought better of it. "...just talk to me Emma. Please." /p

pTears rolled down the blonde's flushed cheeks as the wall that she worked so hard to build had slightly cracked, allowing the brunette to peek through. "Regina, I-I just. I just don't know what to do anymore." Regina could feel her heart tear as those words replayed in her head. Emma sounded so broken and defeated. She just wanted to be able to hold the blonde in her arms to protect her and take all of the pain away, but knowing that she couldn't do that saddened Regina. She hesitantly moved her hands forward and placed them over Emma's, feeling extreme pressure building up in her temples from nerves. But when Emma didn't pull away, a relief washed over the brunette and she felt her cheeks burn. /p

p"I just really don't know what to do anymore. Ever since I was a child, all I wanted was to find my real family and now that I have found them, well, it didn't exactly go as I had planned." Regina raised a curious eyebrow as the blonde continued, "I wanted to be able to spend time with them so I could get to know them, but they are so fixated with me being the 'Saviour', that they can't see me for who I am. They want a perfect daughter and I try! I really, really do! And it makes me so angry that I can't live up to their expectations! I hate myself for not being able to! Regina, I'm not good enough for them! It feels just like the foster homes I was in. I feel like I'm worth nothing. I am worth nothing. I can't really do anything right. I was useless as a child and I am useless now. My past has never really exited my mind and it's really scary sometimes and the whole saviour thing and the whole perfect daughter thing and the whole "we-want-to-kill-Regina" thing, it's just getting to me! I'm always tired and stressed and angry and upset and I just...I don't want the kid to see me like that so I hide it. And seriously, I am so angry at myself for ever letting myself believe that things will get better. Because I have given it time and it hasn't. And it won't. And I am lost. In all honesty, I don't really see a way out of the dark pit that has become my life because as soon as I think that I have found a way to climb out, I just fall on my ass again. There isn't even any point in trying anymore-"br /

"No!", Regina's voice came out a lot shakier than she would have hoped. Her eyes welled up with tears as she squeezed the younger woman's hands tightly, "Emma don't you dare say that! You don't need a way out of this. You need a way through it!" The blonde was sobbing uncontrollably as she shook her head at the other woman, but Regina continued, "I don't care how long it takes! We will get through this!You are worth more than you could ever know, Emma, and you are perfect the way you are. You are perfect as you." /p

p"Regina...I just don't know what to do...wait what!? We?", the shock on Emma's face was evident and the brunette felt her face grow hot. Embarrassed, she pulled her hands away from the blondes and ran them through her hair, "Yes, we. I suppose it is the least I could do." /p

pEmma had stopped crying now as she stared at the older woman quizzically, a small smirk forming on her lips. Regina sensed eyes watching her, /p

p"What?" /p

pEmma continued to stare at the brunette, examining her features, "Before the curse broke, you hated me. But now we are sitting here, at my desk, having a conversation about something other than the 'destroying of my happiness'." She eyed Regina before getting to the point, "What changed?" The older woman's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed as she attempted to form words, "Well I-I...uh...I just um...I guess..." /p

pShe sighed and mentally scolded herself for becoming flustered. Emma noticed how Regina's cheeks had turned the darkest shade of red she had ever seen. "Okay, well after you broke the curse, the whole town turned against me. I even lost Henry at one stage. But, even though I had treated you so horribly, you stayed by my side. At first I didn't want a bar of it, but as more and more mobs came to hunt me down, I suppose I found comfort in having someone on my side. You were not required to risk your own safety in trying to protect a monster, but you did. And now, seeing that you are the one in need of a little protection, I am willing to attempt to return the favour." Regina nodded her head slightly, satisfied with her answer not being a complete lie. It was simply the only half of the truth that Emma needed to hear./p

p "You aren't a monster, Regina, regardless of what everyone else thinks. And besides, you don't need to worry about those stupid people because you will always have Henry and myself on your side." Emma stared at the older woman until she caught her eye. /p

pThey both exchanged sad smiles at the silent understanding, before it was interrupted by a phone buzzing. The blonde sighed before answering, "What do you want Mary...yes I am fine...can you just...yes she is with me and...stop yelling at me...no, stop interrupting...oh my god can you just...fine. I will come home now, but Regina is coming too...alright then I won't come...no mum I...okay good. I'll see you soon."/p

p Emma hung up the phone and slammed it down on the hard brown surface. She combed through her hair with her fingers, looking over at Regina who had a concerned look on her face. The brunette shook her head, "I shouldn't-" "Why not? Regardless of whether you're there or not she will yell at me. She always does." The brunette stood and walked around to where the younger woman followed suit and Rose out of her chair. She reached out and grabbed Emma's hands in her own and instinctively began rubbing circles onto the soft skin with her thumbs. "We will get through this, Emma." Regina's reassuring smile caused butterflies to form in the blonde's stomach. She felt Regina's hands pull away as she went to turn towards the door but at the last second, Emma hesitantly wrapped her arms around the older woman's neck, pulling her in and hugging her tight. /p

pA breath escaped Regina's lips in surprise as she found herself engulfed in Emma's warmth. Feeling comforting hands pressing into her back as Regina relaxed into the hug, Emma was relieved that she hadn't pulled away. She let her head rest on the shoulder of the other woman for a long while before taking a step back. The older woman sensed the blonde etching away but held onto her for a few more moments before releasing her grip, instantly feeling the absence of heat and comfort. A small smile spread across Regina's red lips as she saw Emma's face slightly redden. "I promise, okay? No matter what happens, we will get through." The blonde glanced up at the older woman with a sincere smile, "Thank you, Regina." Not another word was said as the two made their way back to Mary Margaret's flat /

-br /

Upon entry, Regina and Emma went straight upstairs, going past the glares shot in their direction from both Mary Margaret and David as they peered over their coffee mugs. The older woman found Henry in his room while the blonde went into her own room. /p

p"Henry? Are you awake?" He sat up in his bed with his back resting against the headboard, "Yeah Mum. Where have you been? Did you find Ma? Was she at work?" Regina perched herself on the end of the small bed, "Of course I found her, dear. She just needed some fresh air and time alone. Henry, does this happen frequently?" The boys gaze fell to his hands as he picked at the skin around his nails, "Ma is always getting yelled at by Mary Margaret which makes her really sad. I know she tries to keep it together to keep me safe but I know that she is sad. She cries a lot at night time." He looked up at his mother before continuing, "Mum, I just want her to be okay." "She will be okay Henry! I made her a promise tonight. Would you like to hear what is is?" His eyes widened in anticipation as he nodded his head. "I told her that you and I will help her through this and that we will get through this no matter what." A huge smile crept over Henry's face, "You really said that? Thank you Mum!" /p

pHe crawled over to where his mother was sitting and flung his arms around her, squeezing so tight that Regina had to gasp for air. They stayed together for another minute or so in comfortable silence, until Emma's yells floated up from downstairs. Regina sighed as she stood from Henry's bed, "Stay here. I'll go check it out." /p

pWith that, the brunette made her way down the stairs to the door dividing her from the next room. Regina heard her name being mentioned and decided not to enter straight away, instead pressing her ear against the cold wooden surface. /p

p"Mum! I can't even believe you! Regina isn't who you think she is! I really don't give two shits about what she did in the Enchanted Forest because we aren't there anymore! Wake up and see that you are in Storybrooke! Where she is Regina Mills the goddamn mayor! Not the Evil fucking Queen! Open your eyes and see that she is trying to change!"br /

"No Emma! You haven't seen the real her! David and I have! She is evil, twisted and manipulative and she ruined our lives! Your life Emma, she ruined it!" Emma scoffed and her eyes burned into her mothers, "She may have been the reason for me growing up without you in my life but she is also the reason that we have Henry. Without her curse we wouldn't have our son." /p

pFrom the other side of the door, Regina's heart skipped a beat hearing Emma's words. /p

p"What! 'Our' son?! Henry doesn't belong to that...that monster! Henry is yours!" /p

pThere was a pause before the blonde spoke again, "Are you serious. Are you fucking kidding me Mary Margaret. That so called 'monster' raised Henry. She witnessed his first steps. Her ears were blessed with the sounds of his first words. She was there when he rode his first bike. She was there to kiss away the pain from grazed elbows and knees. She was there to tuck him in at night and she was there to shine light through the darkness of his nightmares. Not me! She raised Henry." /p

pEmma paused to take a breath before continuing, tears filling her eyes and her voice becoming shaky, "Yeah sure, genetically he is my kid but I am not his mother. I am not worthy of calling such a wonderfully brought up kid my own. Whether you like it or not, Regina is, and always will be a better mother than I ever could have been to him. And for that, I owe her everything. I will not stand by and let you or anyone else treat her like shit because she doesn't deserve it! She is just a broken women who needs a second chance."/p

pRegina's jaw dropped and her eyes widened. She couldn't believe what she had just heard, but she didn't have time to even think about it before Mary Margaret was at it again, yelling louder than ever before, "Emma. I don't know what kind of evil curse that woman has cast onto you but I promise we will fix it. We will talk to Gold and get you back to being the saviour in no time. You need to go and sleep this off because you don't even know what the hell you are saying."/p

p"Are you being serious right now?! How many times do I have to tell you that she is not evil. She didn't curse me. I meant every single word of what I just said. And also, I am no saviour. You guys need to get that out of your heads because I can't take it anymore. I can't handle the pressure you and David put me under to be this big hero. You don't give me the chance to just be me. I am constantly worrying and stressing and I am over it. You guys make me feel like I am not good enough for you. I'm done Mary Margaret. I can't do this anymore. I can't." /p

p"Emma wait-"/p

pRegina flinched hearing the front door slam shut. She paused to ponder for a moment. She was finding it extremely difficult to comprehend what had just been said. She couldn't help but feel this churning bubble of joy at the sincerity and kindness of the blonde's words. She thought about how Emma is with Henry and made a mental note to let her know that she is in fact a wonderful mother. /p

pHearing Mary Margaret's fists slamming against a table top broke Regina away from her thoughts. She waited a moment for her mind to settle. /p

pAnger started to boil in the pit of her stomach as she burst into the room, "How...how dare you!", was all she managed to get out. The Charmings looked at her with such disgust but she continued anyway, "How dare you believe that I would place a curse on Emma! Especially after all she has done for me! You two idiots need to wake up from this dream that you are having! Your daughter was searching for you for 28 years and she has finally found you and all you can think about is her image?!" Regina put as much venom and anger as she could into her words, "All you focus on is trying to make her the saviour and shape her into your idea of a perfect daughter. Well, I suggest you snap yourselves out of this 'la-la land' you have created and realise that she is already perfect. She is perfect as Emma! Not some saviour that you want her to be. You fools are too blinded to even see the fact that your daughter is not coping! She doesn't want to be known as the saviour or the product of Snow White and Prince Charming. She wants to just be herself and you two aren't allowing her the chance!" She took a deep breath of frustration and continued, clenching her fists, "Stop being such selfish imbeciles and start actually caring about the daughter that you supposedly love. And if I hear that, after tonight, you have so much as used the term 'saviour' in front of Emma, I will personally deal with you. Do I make myself clear?!" /p

pDavid and Mary Margaret stood, holding each other for safety. "Oh, and wipe that fear off your faces. It's not a good look on you." Regina smirked before turning on her heels and exiting the room, making sure to slam the door extra hard, causing the whole house to rattle. The brunette pressed her back against the door as she began to mull over what had just occurred. Then she remembered./p

pEmma. /p

p-/p

p"Henry! Wake up!"/p

pRegina shook the sleeping boy. "Henry wake up this instant!" The lump under the bed sheets began to wriggle and a brown mop of hair popped out of the blanket, "Mum?" Noticing the stream of tears falling from his mothers eyes he shot up looking extremely concerned, "Mum! What is it?" /p

p"It's your Mother. She ran out of the house a while ago and...and she wasn't in a good head space and...and...Henry I think she's in trouble. Is there anywhere that she likes to go? Anywhere at all that you can think of? Somewhere that she goes to collect her thoughts or be alone or anything? Henry-" The boy placed a hand on his mothers shoulder, "She loves the woods. Out by the toll bridge. If you cross the bridge and head north straight into the woods, you'll come across a small clearing. It's really closed in and peaceful there. She goes there to clear her head when she is stressed. Why Mum? What's going on?" /p

p"Thank you, dear. I really need to go! I'm sorry, why don't you ask your grandparents what's happening. I'm sure they would be happy to explain." /p

pWith that, Regina turned and ran out of Henry's room, down the stairs, past the two idiots and out into the hallway. She tried calling Emma but cursed as no one answered. Remembering Henry's directions she ran out into the night in search of the younger woman./p

p As she reached the toll bridge it started pouring down heavy droplets of rain, "Are you serious?", she puffed, looking up at the sky. She really needed to find Emma, so she headed straight into the woods and after about three minutes, just as Henry had said, Regina came across a small clearing. She stood still and listened to the eerily quiet night for a moment. She almost jumped out of her skin when a rustling noise came from her right. "Emma?", she gasped as she turned to face the mysterious noise. /p

p"Emma!" /p

pThe blonde was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against a log and her knees tucked into her chest. Her pale arms wrapped around her legs to hold them in place as her head rested on her knees. /p

pRegina ran over to the sobbing woman, sunk to her knees and placed her hands on the shuddering shoulders in front of her./p

p"Emma! What's going on? Why are you out here?!", and that's when she noticed the blood./p


	2. Chapter 2

The blonde was sitting on the ground with her back leaning against a log and her knees tucked into her chest. Her pale arms wrapped around her legs to hold them in place as her head rested on her knees.

Regina ran over to the sobbing woman, sunk to her knees and placed her hands on the shuddering shoulders in front of her.

"Emma! What's going on? Why are you out here?!", and that's when she noticed the blood.

"Oh Emma, what did you do?" Emma just glanced at Regina then looked down, releasing her grip on her own legs and turning her hands over, flinching as the heavy rain splashed onto the wounds. The older woman let out a gasp at the sight of the deep incisions on either wrist, "Oh my god. Emma! Okay, let me heal them and then we can get you to Whale and he can fix you!" The brunette frantically clasped her hands over Emma's wrists in attempts to slow the bleeding, noticing how the blood had dribbled its way down Emma's jeans and onto the wet ground. "Please we need to go now! Just let me help you! Come on, Emma! We need to go! Please…say something"

The blonde met Regina's gaze with glassy eyes, "No."

The older woman searched desperately in the green orbs for answers, "No? W-what do you mean no?"

"No. I don't want you to heal them and I don't want to go to the hospital."

Regina shook her head, unable to comprehend the blonde's words, "B-but….but you'll-" "Yeah I know! I'll die! And so what? No one needs me. All I am to them is 'The Savior'. Why do you care anyway! A few months ago you wanted me dead more than anything! So now you are getting what you always wanted, so just leave me alone." She attempted to pull her arms from the brunette's grip, but failed. She began to weep, "Please! J-just let go. I want to go. I-I need to go Regina, please…please. I want to die, oh god, Regina, please just let me die-"

The older woman's heart broke as she watched the blonde in front of her sob uncontrollably, "Emma…I was just scared of losing Henry, but I have changed! And don't, for one second believe that no one needs you! Your mother and father need you, this town needs you, Henry needs you, a-and I need you. As ridiculous as it sounds, Emma, I need you. You are worth so, so much more than a label…well, to me you are" The younger woman searched the wet, chocolate eyes and was confused as she found truth in what was being said. "And, I-I…um…shit." Regina mentally scolded herself for stuttering, "I'm not good at this emotions thing, but Emma, I really do need you…" Emma's head started to tip to the side and her eyes fluttered open and closed. The older woman's bloodstained hands shot up, cupping Emma's pale cheeks, "No no no, Emma, stay with me!" The blonde's eyes slowly opened and her mouth parted in an attempt to form words but Regina cut her off, "Please don't leave me here alone Emma! Please…" Tears fell from both women's eyes as they stared at one another, "I don't want to live in a world without you! You cant leave me…please don't leave me. Emma, I….I think…." The younger woman squinted to see through the heavy rain as thunder crashed in the sky. She saw the older woman's lips moving but all she heart was a sharp ringing in her brain from the thunder, "W-what?"

Regina moved her face mere centimeters away from the younger woman's, her heart beating furiously in her chest and her breathing becoming frantic, and yelled, "Emma! I-…goddammit…Emma, I love you."

The younger woman's eyes widened and her mouth opened and closed in a weak attempt to say something, but before she could, the brunette pulled her face forward, closing the gap between them. Plump red lips met soft pink ones. It took a moment for Emma to respond and Regina hoped it was due to shock rather than repulse, and was proved right as she felt the blonde deepen the kiss without further hesitation. Emma felt an overarching sense of belonging and Regina felt as though every weight had been lifted off her shoulders.

But it didn't last long.

Suddenly, Emma stopped.

She stopped kissing, she stopped moving, she stopped feeling, she stopped breathing.

Regina caught Emma's body as it fell limp into her arms.

She screamed as the life drained from the younger woman's eyes, "NO! EMMA! WAKE UP!" The brunette was beside herself with fear, shaking the lifeless body with all the strength that she could muster, "SHIT! No Emma! Please don't leave me here! Oh god please…you can't go! Emma, I love you! Don't go… …please don't go." She leaned down and kissed the pale woman, even though she knew very well that a kiss doesn't wake one from this type of sleep.

Tears fell from Regina's bloodshot eyes as she scooped Emma's motionless body into her lap and hugged her tight. Suddenly, a purple mist engulfed the pair and they were gone.

Feeling the smooth, ice-cold surface of the hospital floor, Regina opened her eyes. Her vision was hazed over with tears and the only noise that she could her was her own whimpering. She tried to call for help, barely managing a whisper. Panic arose in the pit of the older woman's stomach and she coughed to clear her throat, "SOMEONE HELP ME!" Satisfied with the volume of her scream she allowed her head to drop and rest on Emma's chest. Suddenly, she felt the body beneath her being pulled away. She looked up and saw Dr. Whale and two nurses lift the blonde onto a stretcher. She watched as they ran off, wheeling Emma down the corridor, around a corner and into the depths of the hospital.

All fell silent. The brunette exhaled and leaned back against a wall. She sat, alone, in the dark room cold, wet, sobbing and praying for a miracle.

"EMMA! Where the hell is my daughter!? Whale!?"

Regina's sobs ceased when she recognized whom the yelling was coming from. She sighed when she heard the two Charming idiots run through the automatic sliding doors and into the room in which she had been seated for just over an hour. Keeping her eyes glued to the floor, she kept still and quiet, not that the frantic couple would notice her in their panic anyway. She listened as footsteps ahead silenced the pair, "Ah I see you received my message. Emma is in critical condition and has lost a lot of blood but we just might be able to save her. If it wasn't for…the Evil Queen getting her as quick as she did, well…the situation could have been a lot worse."

"T-thank you Dr. Whale. Wait…Regina? What do you mean Regina got Emma here?" Struggling to speak through her whimpers, Regina couldn't depict whether Snow sounded angry or just distraught.

"Uh yes, she came here…well, appeared rather, with Emma bleeding out in her arms. She's sitting over there…" He raised his voice in annoyance glancing over to where the older woman was seated "…still dripping water onto my floor, might I add."

The brunette didn't have to look up to know that 3 pairs of eyes were staring at her. She could feel their gazes burning into her body. She kept her eyes glued to the floor in front of her and let her mind recollect all that had happened that evening.

"Well, I had better go and check on Emma now. Things aren't looking so good at the moment, but I will call you if improvements on her status are made." With a reassuring nod and a handshake from David, Whale was gone, leaving Regina alone with the Charmings.

Regina was so deep in thought that she didn't even notice that Mary Margaret had made her way over to where she was sitting in a ball against the wall, "Regina!" No response. She tried again, "REGINA!" The frustrated tone in the woman's voice startled Regina, jerking her away from her thoughts causing her to snap back into reality. Without so much as a glance up at the woman standing over her, Regina mumbled something downwards, into her lap.

"What did you say? I didn't quite catch that."

Regina finally looked up and Snow felt a pang in her heart seeing the tear stricken face of the older woman. She had never seen so much as a watery eye from Regina, let alone the full-blown sobs that she was witnessing right now. The contrast between the Evil Queen and the woman before her was almost incomprehensible.

Regina gathered enough energy to stand, but weakness took over. Her knees buckled so she was forced to use the wall for support. Mary Margaret looked the older woman up and down and gasped at the sight, "R-regina…is that…is that Emma's blood?"

Regina's eyes squeezed shut as she let out the loud cries that she had been previously withholding, "Yes…I…I…she ran and…I found her in the woods…and…there was so, so much blood…and, I tried Snow! I really did try but…but I couldn't…and now she's…I'm so-" The younger woman suddenly lurched forward and Regina flinched, preparing for a punch to the face or something of the sort. What she wasn't prepared for was when Mary Margaret wrapped her arms around her shoulders, engulfing her in a warm hug. Regina stood still for a moment to take in what had just happened, before throwing her arms around the younger woman in return. "Regina, I am so sorry…I acted like a fool…I-I…thank you for finding her!" They remained in the embrace for a minute or so, Snow feeling grateful to have been reminded of the woman she once knew and Regina just willing to latch onto anything even remotely comforting.

"MOM!"

Regina, who had returned to her original position sitting against the wall, looked towards the sliding doors. "Henry! What are you doing here?!"

"Mary Margaret and David…they said…stay home…that something happened…I'm not stupid…I ran here…where's Ma?" Still panting from his journey, Henry made his way over to his mother. He looked back and forth between Regina and the Charmings huddled together on the couch in the corner waiting for an answer. "Look, Henry dear-"

He cut her off, "Woah, Mom! You're soaking wet and… I-is that…blood?! Mom! What happened to Emma?"

"Calm down, Henry. Your mother had an accident and she's not doing so great right now, but Dr. Whale is taking good care of her!" The young boy ran into his mother's arms and burst into tears.

They stayed in that position for a long while, giving each other comfort. After a good half hour, Regina heard Henry's breathing even out as he fell asleep. She glanced up at the clock hanging on the adjacent wall, realizing how late it had gotten, "David? Hey, Charming, are you awake?" She whispered across the room to where the couple was seated, "Hey! Wake up!"

David's eyes slowly opened and he lazily looked towards Regina, "What is it?"

"It's past 2:30am…I just…Henry needs to go home, but I want to stay but he-" Charming cut her off, "Regina relax. I will take Henry home, it doesn't seem like much is happening with-" The heavy footsteps echoing down the hallway was enough to silence the two. When Whale rounded the corner with a worried look plastered onto his face, Regina cringed. He stepped over to David, who had poked Snow in order to wake the sleeping brunette. "I'm afraid things aren't looking so good. She has slipped into a coma and we fear that, due to her extreme blood loss that she may not wake. There is a chance that she will come to, but they are unlikely. We can allow for you two, Henry and…" Gesturing to Regina with a harsh look on his face, "…her…to come in and say goodnight, as it may well be her last. So, if you will follow me, right this way." Hand in hand, the Charmings stood and slowly followed to Doctor.

Regina couldn't comprehend what had just been said, so it took a few second for her to respond, but she had to stay composed for Henry's sake, "Henry? Come on wake up now." She earned a grunt from the small child, "We have to go and wish Emma a good night."

"Is she awake!" The hope was evident in the boy's eyes, making it all the more painful for Regina to tell him, "I'm afraid not, but we can go in and say goodnight for now." She managed to force a fake smile as she lifted the boy off her and stood, grabbing his hand and following the three adults up ahead.

After walking through a few corridors and making a few turns, the group reached Emma's room. They all peeked through the window and their faces dropped as they saw the pale, sleeping blonde on the other side of the glass. Whale held the door open and they walked in one by one, Snow then David then Henry, but Whale stopped Regina with his arm, "Family first." Regina looked up into his eyes and saw the same anger that she had witnessed on the day that the curse had been broken, when he came to her house with the first of many angry mobs. Scoffing, the brunette watched as Whale closed the door right in her face.

She had tried so hard to redeem herself and prove to this town that she is not the Evil Queen anymore, and the only adult that seemed to believe her was now in a com. Sighing, she watched as the Charmings and Henry said goodbye. After 10 minutes or so the door swung open and everyone left the room, including Dr. Whale, allowing Regina to be alone with Emma.

The older woman, after shutting the door, walked slowly over to where the blonde lay. She sat on the arm chair next to Emma, bringing her feet up to rest them on the frame of the bed. She shivered, realizing how cold it was, as she reached out and took Emma's clammy hand into her own. Regina rubbed soothing circles on the palm of Emma's hand as she whispered to the blonde, "Emma? I know you can't hear me, so I feel quite ridiculous trying to talk to you right now. I probably look like such a fool speaking to a person that is in a coma…" She let out a long and sad sigh, "…and that's probably where you would make a smart ass quip about how I need to stop being so rigid and I would scoff and tell you how I am the Mayor and I don't have time for such lower class activities. Then we would share a look filled with mock hatred, you would laugh and walk away and I would smile at the back of your head because secretly, I enjoyed your humor, as ludicrous as it was…and… I'm still talking to a sleeping person." Exhaling, she combed her empty hand through her hair remembering all the times that Emma had frustrated her and yet she was so drawn to the blonde. She subconsciously smiled at the memories while staring at Emma's face. The realization that this could be the last time that she would ever see the blonde suddenly hit Regina like a brick wall. Tears began to fall from her tired eyes, "E-Emma…I still feel ridiculous but… I know that you are a fighter, so right now you have to use any strength that you have left to get through this. I know you think you wont be missed or that you aren't worth being here, but Emma you're worth it to me. You were the only one who believed in me so now it's my turn to believe in you. I believe that you will make it through this!" Looking down at the younger woman she cupped Emma's cold, pale cheek with her hand and sighed. Through heavy sobs she spoke her last words to the blonde, "Goodbye Emma…I-I really do love you." With that, she brought Emma's hand up to her lips and pressed them to the blonde's knuckles. She so desperately wanted to kiss the younger woman's lips, but thought better of it, knowing that there were eyes watching her every move.

David had taken Henry home and Whale had returned to his office a little further down the hall, leaving Mary Margaret outside Emma's room. She watched as Regina said her goodbyes and couldn't help the sad smile that played upon her lips. She thought about how she had treated the older woman recently and felt ashamed and guilty. The brunette in the room before her was far from the evil woman from her past. Realizing that it was her own fault that Regina had begun her journey in becoming the Evil Queen, Snow's eyes began to water. She was pulled from her train of thought as she saw Regina stand, releasing Emma's hand as she wiped her face with the sleeve of her black coat.

Regina exited the room, immediately noticing the absence of the boys and then seeing Mary Margaret's glassy eyes. The older woman exhaled a long, shaky breath before speaking, "Where is my son?"

"David took Henry back to my place. R-Regina?"

"What is it Ms. Blanchard?"

"I-I'm sorry…for not keeping your secret when I was a child. I was young and stupid and it was wrong of me to tell your mother. A-Also…I'm sorry for the way I have been treating you recently. Watching you with Emma just now…I can see the woman who once saved my life. I can see why Emma had faith in you." Regina searched Mary Margaret's eyes and they looked sincere. The older woman half smiled and nodded, not knowing what to say, before walking past the younger woman and back into the waiting room.

For the next four days, Regina remained in that waiting room. She relied on bottled water and confectionary from vending machines to keep her going. On a lounge chair with a blanket and pillow, brought in by Mary Margaret, Regina would only get a few hours of sleep each night, before waking up and crying in a sweaty mess. She would sometimes wake up to the comforting arms of her son or a kind smile from David, but more often than not she was alone.

Dr. Whale had informed her that she was not to visit Miss Swan, as that was a privilege given only to family members. At first, Regina had argued that she is still the Mayor and she has visiting rights, but Whale was stubborn. She backed down, not wanting to give the doctor any more reasons to despise her. However, on the fourth night, Regina had had enough. She needed to see Emma one last time. So that evening she waited until it was late, and there was only one nurse at the desk for the night shift. For what seemed like a lifetime, she pretended to sleep while she waited for the perfect opportunity. It came when the nurse at the desk left to make herself a cup of coffee, which gave Regina all the time required to sneak past and make her way to Emma's room without being seen.

She gently opened the door, her heart skipping a beat when she saw the younger woman. The only noise in the room was the steady beep of the heart monitor on the far side of the hospital bed. Pulling up a chair and siting next to the blonde, Regina closed her eyes and listened to the beeps from the machine. In a weird way, they comforted the brunette because she was technically listening to Emma's heartbeat.

Regina's mind relaxed for the first time in four days, as she fell asleep. She was never a heavy sleeper. Not since Henry came about. When he was little, and even now, the slightest murmur and she would be awake, checking to see if he was okay. Regina is a very light sleeper.

So when the comforting, pulsing beeps of Emma's heart monitor transitioned into one, long, loud beep, as it flat-lined, Regina's eyes shot wide open.


	3. Chapter 3

Hey guys! Sorry for the late update! I've been packing for my cruise...which is leaving today...so I wrote this chapter in literally like three hours so PLS DONT JUDGE IF ITS BAD :'(

Regina's mind relaxed for the first time in four days, as she fell asleep. She was never a heavy sleeper. Not since Henry came about. When he was little, and even now, the slightest murmur and she would be awake, checking to see if he was okay. Regina is a very light sleeper.

So when the comforting, pulsing beeps of Emma's heart monitor transitioned into one, long, loud beep, as it flat-lined, Regina's eyes shot wide open.

Panicking, Regina shot up into a standing position and slightly waved her wrist, flicking the light switch on. It took a moment for her eyes to adjust to the new blinding brightness coming from the ceiling, but she forced her eyes open and looked down at the body laying on the hospital bed. Her jaw hung slack at what she saw before her.

"What the hell..." Confusion painted Emma's face as she continued to frantically yank out any tubes and wires that were connected to her.

"E-Emma! You're awake! The machine...it flat lined! I thought you were gone!" Regina placed her hands on the edge of the bed and let her head hang limp, releasing a shaky breath. She turned her head towards the blonde, who was still furiously battling with a wire, smiling as her eyes filled with tears. She suddenly became nervous, remembering what had happened on the night of Emma's incident and wondering how she would react.

"What the hell!" Emma repeated her words with more confusion and frustration, snapping her head up to look at Regina. "What the hell did you do?! Oh my god. You would totally do something like this wouldn't you?!"

"W-what?" Regina was searching the blonde's deep green orbs and found that they were not as soft and warm as usual.

"What do you mean what?! It's all true isn't it! What Henry has been telling me about his book, about the fairytale characters, about you! What the hell is wrong with you! I said I was leaving! Why couldn't you just let me go? NO! You had to put my son in danger?!" Emma moved to raise her arms but flinched at the sudden sharp pain in her wrists. She looked down to see the healing wounds and then back up to glare at Regina, who had a confused expression plastered on her face. "Oh you've gotta be kidding me. What the hell happened? Did the curse do this? Did you do this? Oh my god. You did this! You tried to kill me with that stupid thing that Henry ate, but that didn't work so you've come here to finish the job." Emma sighed and fell back and rested her head against the pillow, still glaring at the older woman.

"Emma...what are you talking about?"

Regina's pleading tone just frustrated the younger woman more. "Don't you dare play dumb with me, Your Majesty! The curse that you enacted! The one that I just broke by kissing Henry..." Emma's face suddenly became worried, "Henry! Where is he! Is he okay?!"

"Okay Emma! Please calm down! You need to listen to me-" Emma cut her off, "Or what? You'll use your evil magic to kill me? You already tried that, sister." The younger woman smirked at the brunette, but when she saw soft brown eyes watching her with what looked like sincerity, she closed her mouth to listen.

"Henry is fine. He has been for...quite some time now. Emma? Do you know what the date is?" Regina watched Emma's mouth open and close and her face scrunched up as she forced her brain to think, but she came up dry, "Sure, it's...it's...well...why does that matter!? It's the day that I broke your stupid curse! What does the date have to do with anything?"

"Emma, it's June."

"Cool. Thanks for that one Regina."

"No, Emma, you broke the curse at the beginning of March."

"Wait...what?"

Regina slid forward in her chair and placed a hand on the bed next to the younger woman's leg, "Emma, you broke the curse four months ago."

Emma's eyebrows furrowed as she tried to process what Regina was telling her. She tried to say something but her throat was dry. She swallowed a few times before she was able to speak, "If this is some evil manipulation trick-"

"No! Emma I swear it's the truth!"

Emma sighed, "W-What happened to me?"

Regina's eyes fell to the floor and she hesitated. "Regina! What the hell happened to me?!"

"Look at your wrists closer..."

Emma was confused. She raised her wrists and examined them. Her eyes squinted with concentration, and Regina saw a flash of recognition cross the green orbs, "No...Oh god no! W-why would I?! Why don't I remember WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON! THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT, REGINA! GET OUT! SOMEONE GET HER OUT!"

Emma screamed and yelled and thrashed about in an attempt to get out of the bed. Regina quickly stood to try and calm the blonde, copping a few stray punches on her arms. Apparently Emma's screams were heard because Regina suddenly felt a strong hand grip her forearm and tear her from the room. Whale spun her around, "Regina! You aren't family. Get out of here!"

Regina chanced one last glance at the blonde through the window but regretted it immediately. She watched as Emma struggled and writhed under the firm hands of three nurses while they held her down. Whale had jabbed a needle into her arm and in a few moments, Emma was sedated. She was gone again.

Tears fell from the brunette's eyes as she briskly walked through the hallways. The could barely see through the film of tears and her legs felt like led. As she rounded a corner she smashed straight into Mary Margaret, "Regina! I got a call from a nurse and got here as quickly as I could! Emma is awake! She's...Regina? What's wrong? What happened?!"

The older woman's breathing was rapid and she tried to form words, but all that came out was a whisper. She cleared her throat by coughing and looked at the younger woman, "Emma...she woke up...and s-she doesn't remember. She hates me again and she doesn't remember! Any of it!" Before Snow could even think about responding, a purple mist appeared and then evaporated, taking Regina with it.

A few days later, things had settled down. Emma was still in hospital but Whale had explained to everyone that the memory loss was due to the amount of blood that she had lost, and also the amount of time her brain went without oxygen. He told Emma that some of her memories may return over the next few weeks, most likely as dreams.

David and Mary Margaret took Henry to visit her every day for the next week. Regina, however, had not visited. She wanted to give Emma at least that week, just to settle down a little. But after that week, Regina decided she needed to see her. She wanted to try and clear some things up, like how she isn't the Evil Queen anymore and how she and Emma had actually become friends.

So, exactly one week from the night that Emma woke up, Regina made her way over to the hospital at around 9pm, hoping that she would get to be alone with the younger woman.

When she reached the doors to the hospital, she walked straight in and past the nurses desk. The nurse stood in protest saying something about "family only", but with a stone cold glare from Regina, the nurse sat down without another word. She worked her way through the hallways until she found Emma's room. She knocked on the hard wooden door before entering, finding the blonde sitting up in bed, glaring in her direction. "What the hell are you doing here?"

"Emma. We need to talk." She walked to the end of the bed, keeping eye contact with the younger woman, who raised an eyebrow. "You need to know that a lot of time has passed since you broke that curse. A lot of things happened and I am not the woman that you remember."

Emma looked into Regina's sincere eyes and then sighed. Her features hardened but her eyes remained sad, "The thing is, I don't remember any of it. So what you just said means nothing to me. In my eyes, it's not real. To me, you are just as evil as you were when you tried to put me under that curse...Henry told me it was a sleeping curse. So no matter what you say to me right now, my memories are gone and when I think of you only one word comes to mind. Evil. So I think it's best if you leave me alone and don't come back."

Regina's mouth hung open in shock. "B-but Emma! I came to try and clear things up and-"

"No! Regina, you don't get to talk. I'm done listening to you. Also, I don't want you seeing Henry anymore. He doesn't need someone like you near him, poisoning his mind with evil."

Regina's eyes filled with tears as she felt her heart crack. She watched the blonde, whose eyes were filled with hate. She could almost feel her walls rebuilding themselves. The walls that she had let down for this woman, who now hated her again. A short sharp, "fine" was all she could manage to say, before a purple mist carried her back to her home where she paced in her room, letting sadness and anger bubble inside of her until it took over.

Another week later and Emma had been discharged from the hospital. She was back in Mary Margaret's flat making herself comfortable. David and Snow had filled her in on most of what happened over the few months that had been erased from her memory, leaving out any mention of why Emma did what she did and Regina's name wasn't spoken at all.

"Mary Margaret?" Emma walked into the living room to find her mother and sat down next to her on the lounge.

"Yes Emma?"

"I was wondering if you left anything out? Both you and David...even Henry...you are all walking around with worried looks on your faces every time you see me. As if your waiting for me to say something?"

A worried look played upon Snow's face before she covered it up with a smile, "Of course not! We all just want you to be happy."

With that, Emma smiled an unsure smile before getting up and making her way upstairs to her room. She sighed as she lay on her bed, thinking about all the gaps in her memory. She wondered what Regina had meant when she said that she wasn't the same woman. Emma's eyes closed and soon she was asleep, with the last thought on her mind being Regina's sincere eyes. She couldn't help the feeling that she had seen them on more occasions, but couldn't think of when that was.

She only slept for an hour before she woke up crying and sweating. She had woken up from a dream of the first time that she saved Regina from an angry mob. She knew it was a memory. It had to be. The way she had to pry Whale off Regina...it felt so real. She lay back down with a huff, not wanting to believe that she had actually saved Regina, not after all she had done. Not before too long she was dreaming again.

Over the next week, Emma had woken up at least once every night, sometimes even twice, with a new recollection of memories. Always out of breath and crying. But on this particular night, she woke up crying but she couldn't help but smile. The past few days she was able to brush off the memories of Regina, without even a second thought. But not this time. It was 6am and she had woken up with the memory of Regina and herself in the kitchen one day, seated on the floor in amongst smashed glass and orange juice. Emma had her head resting on Regina's thigh as the older woman brushed through blonde locks with her fingers.

Emma smiled as she crept downstairs as quietly as she could, so she didn't wake the three other sleeping bodies in the house. Tiptoeing around the island bench, Emma gazed at the floor where she and a certain woman had once sat. The blonde could almost hear Regina's soothing voice and she could almost feel her comforting touch.

She growled at herself, suddenly becoming angry at the way she had treated the brunette at the hospital. She pulled out her phone and dialled a number, which she was surprised that she knew off by heart. She tried to call Regina three times but when no one answered she gave up.

Little did she know, across the other side of town in a large white house, a sleep deprived brunette watched her phone ring. Then ring again. And once more. She almost answered Emma's third call but decided that she didn't particularly feel like being yelled at this morning.

So both women just went about their days as usual.

"Emma don't you dare say that! You don't need a way out of this. You need a way through it! I don't care how long it takes! We will get through this! You are worth more than you could ever know, Emma, and you are perfect the way you are. You are perfect as you..."

Emma woke up in a cold sweat. She had indented on resting her head on her desk for a few moments, but the small puddle of drool on her paperwork proved that she had slept for a while. She closed her eyes again and thought of the memory she had just re-lived. It was right here, at this desk. Regina had come to find her for some reason and her words...they were so sincere and kind. She remembered herself saying that she didn't think there was any other way out. She slammed her fist on the desk, "A way out of what!"

"Are you talking to yourself Emma?" David rounded the corner and entered the station just behind where Emma was sitting. She stood, not even looking at him, before turning and walking out the door. She glanced back over her shoulder, "I don't feel well. Can I have the rest of the day off?" She didn't wait for David to reply before leaving. She went straight home and was pleased to find it empty.

Emma scratched her head, paced the living room, made hot coco and even went for a run. But nothing could distract her mind from all of these gradual memories returning to her, painting a whole new image of Regina in her brain. A guilt bubbled in the pit of her stomach as thought about how she told the brunette to leave her and Henry alone. Picking up the phone she dialled Regina's number and called. When no one answered the threw it onto the lounge and sat down beside it, glancing at it every now and again hoping for it to suddenly light up and buzz with an incoming call. She waited for a good two hours before giving up.

Henry, Mary Margaret and David had return from their daily activities and dinner had been finished. Emma was in a bad mood so she decided it was best if she crashed early.

She wandered up the stairs and dove into bed. As she turned off the light, she hoped that more good memories would return to her, but when she woke up a few hours later feeling like her heart had been wrenched out of her body, she knew that she didn't want these memories back.

Regina had checked her phone before she went to bed, noticing she had a missed call from Emma. Sighing, she put the phone on charge and changed into her grey, silk pyjamas. She slipped into bed, wondering why Emma would be calling her. She yawned while she made herself comfortable in her expensive bed.

Her eyes slipped shut as she fell asleep. She had only found a few hours of shut eye when a faint knock on the door woke her. Initially she thought it may have been the wind, but when another three knocks occurred she sat up with confusion. Her alarm clock read 4:36am. Wiping the sleep from her eyes, Regina got up and wrapped a robe around her before exiting her bedroom and descending the stairs. Who on earth was knocking at her door at this time of day?!

As she made her way to the door she grumbled under her breath. It was 4:40am on a Saturday morning and she was up answering someone foolish enough to wake her. She reached up, turned the door nob and swung the door open. She stiffened when she saw who was there.

"Emma?"

The younger woman kept her eyes locked on her own feet, refusing to meet Regina's cold glare.

"Emma! What do you think you're doing! It's almost 5am and you're knocking on my door!" Regina knew her tone was harsh but at this point she didn't particularly care, "Why are you here this early in the morning..." Her tone softened when she noticed the blonde's attire, "...in shorts...a singlet...and that flimsy jacket! And where are your shoes? Where is your car?! Emma, did you walk to my house with no shoes on?!" Regina's questions were cut short then the younger woman finally looked up. Her cheeks were blotchy and her nose was red and running. There were streams of tears running down her cheeks and she sniffled before speaking, "R-Regina..." Her eyes fell to the floor again.

Regina instinctively took a step towards the blonde. Her heart ached seeing the younger woman like this, "What happened, Emma?"

She lifted her head so that deep chocolate eyes met sad green ones, "Regina...I remember why I tried to..." A loud sob escaped her throat forcing her to take a deep breath before continuing,

"I remember why I did it. I remember why I wanted to die."

Okay so that was the chapter. Sorry if it's shorter than usual! Im literally sitting on the cruise ship finishing it so sorry if there are mistakes and crap. The ship could leave at any second and there will be no internet.

So…sorry if it didn't make sense. Since I wrote it in a few hours I couldn't put as much detail into it as I really wanted to but I will put heaps more into the next chapter. Next chapter will hopefully be more fluff :) anyways so in this chapter Emma is getting her memories back in the form of dreams (that was the italic part) and so at the end she actually remembered why she tried to kill herself. So we will just have to wait till next chapter to find out exactly what part of it she remembers ;)

Next update will be on the 15th!


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